The changes that have been plaguing me these past months have lead me to the realization that the Dark of the Year is the Witch’s time.
In the spring I tend to feel more Pagan – more daughter of the Earth, servant of the gods, joyous dancer to the music of life.
In the autumn and winter I feel like the evil old Witch in all our well loved faery tales – the baleful wind that blows chaos and change through the village, the darkness that forces the hero to reach for his potential, the temptation offered by the devil.
The dark of the year is the time for work. It is the time for divination and spellwork and wrestling with demons. Celebration is on hold while the world sleeps it’s way towards Yule.
At this time of the year I always feel a bit less religious, a bit less Pagan. But this year is somewhat different for me because it change from Earth Child to Witch happened so much earlier that it leaves me wondering if I ever turned away from the Dark Witch of last winter at all.
I look back at my posts from the beginning of the year and I see myself pulling away. I am pulling away from friends, from projects, from plans, from a nice, safe future. I remember how horrid it was to claw at the plans for a stable future as they slipped away, but I knew enough to know not to follow them. Some things need to die. The plans needed to pass so that I could be in a position to accept this new place – this new path where nothing is planned beyond the next month.
The fog is still thick enough to blur my view beyond December. Maybe it still needs to be lest I fall into old habits.
At this point, I’m not even sure what it means to be non-religious. I still believe all the same things I used to believe. I still see my gods more as ancestors than gods. I still don’t know that that matters.
Maybe I am not so much non-religous as non-political or just not interested in my community anymore. I don’t even read the news articles anymore. I can’t really bring myself to care about the latest protest, the latest fight, the latest outrage.
The new year will bring some interesting developments, I think. We’ll see if the cards are willing to shed any light.
–PT
